Eleanor “E” or “Easy E” Alston
E was a campselor at my at my First Descents (FD) 09 camp. She picked me, No-Mo Chemo Man, Scrappy and Worm up at Boise airport. As a brain cancer survivor, I had struggled in my 08 camp just staying up in the boat. As we were driving through Boise, she explained that she earned the nickname “Easy E” in her First Descents 08 camp because she did so well in the kayak, like she was a natural. I’d seen that the year before in a couple of campers. Now I was back to learn to roll and just be better at kayaking, and she was back to shadow people like me on the river and teach us how to paddle. She told me she was an IBC survivor. The subject of nutrition came up when I offered her one of my cookies. She politely refused, explaining that she was on a diet specifically designed to prevent blood sugar spikes. I explained I had developed the recipe when I was on chemo because a side effect of the brain cancer drug I was taking was elevated cholesterol. When I told what was in the cookies, she concluded my recipe was low Glycemic Index and okay for her to eat. It turned out we were both staunch believers in the healing power of nutrition. Right off we had being food nerds in common. It ended up that what I learned from E about Glycemic Index became a cornerstone of my marketing strategy when I decided to go into the cookie business with my recipes. The day I gave her that cookie, it really meant a lot that told me she loved it.
Our first day on the water consisted of E, her husband Hyou and the rest of the FD volunteers fitting us in boats, getting us used to the inevitability of being upside down in the water, and then pounding us during spirited if not gracefully executed game on the Kayak Polo pitch. The next day, we were out on the river and I didn’t see much of E because she was working with other ducklings (novice kayakers). I imagine E was an encouraging force out there, not only just by physical example, but because she had major cancer credentials. The disease she was battling, IBC, is a very bad one, yet there she was she was on the river making it happen for her and for us. She taught, and helped rescue campers that had abandoned their kayaks in the rapids. The next three days on the Middle fork of the Payette provided plenty of challenge for us campers. Hyou and a few of the other volunteers patiently coached me on rolling my kayak during the lunch breaks.
I taught Tai Chi in the mornings. Hyou and E made it for a few mornings together and then for one or two Hyou was there alone. E needed rest, she was tired. Learning this was the first inkling I got that this camp was as much a physical challenge for E as it was to the rest of us. Despite her acumen, she had been through intense treatments and was tired. I had developed this image her, that she was so strong and good at kayaking, that I didn’t imagine she needed rest, that she was vulnerable. Part of this image was her grace as well as her skill. She was LIVING. She didn’t have time to complain, even when a piece of her front tooth broke off out on the river. She just kept going. It was one of her front top center teeth.
E was a very beautiful woman - yet vanity was in no way a hang-up for her. But it couldn’t have been easy for her looking in the mirror and seeing that broken tooth. It was a sign of the wear her treatments had exacted on her body. It was a chink in the armor.
E and Hyou loved to drive across the country and that’s how they had come to the camp from Omaha. They were able to stay an extra day after the rest of us left. They ran with the big dogs on that day. The North Fork of the Payette with Fro and Thrifty. That’s category 4-5 water; “busy” is the euphemistic term whitewater enthusiasts use to describe such a stretch of river. I remember seeing that fork on the first day on our way up to our base house from the airport. I was sitting next to E in the front seat of her van thinking, “Oh my God, I hope we’re not gonna be on that water.” E and Hyou did kayak the North Fork of the Payette. From what I heard, they held up for a respectable stretch, but that water taught them a thing or two in return.
In October of 2009 we had the pleasure of a visit from the Alston Clan plus Cara (Couch Potato) Stirts. They were out for the Kayak Polo Nationals (Internationals really) in Los Angeles. E was a force to be respected out on the pitch. Hyou and Megan played as well. Cara had driven out with E and the girls and was still working on rolling. Cara, a lawyer was on vacation from her court internship. One of the things that impressed me about her was that she was such a good friend and that E and the Alstons meant very much to her. Cara’s loyalty spoke to the quality of the Alstons as a family and as people in general. I truly enjoyed eating fish tacos with this tribe when they spent the night. When it was time for them to move up to Northern Los Angeles County to play in the Nationals my wife and I wished we could have had them around the house longer.
We got our wish when they were able to stop back by on the way out to Omaha. Everyone was in high spirits. I was left with such a loving and positive impression of the whole group. The girls, who had been living with the knowledge that their mom was fighting a deadly disease for two years, were exemplary humans. They got along so well and were great to have around the house. It really cemented my admiration and love for E and Hyou seeing how great of a job they were doing raising their daughters. I’m always grateful when I meet parents that manage to strike that balance, where the kids are able to interact on a mature and loving level. It gives me hope for the future when adults are willing and capable of providing the love in all of its forms. When children are this well mannered, it means that the parents are not afraid to set limits, yet not excessive in discipline. That they’re teaching love.
In the middle of March 2010, I participated in my second St Baldricks fundraiser. I had been growing my beard for a year in anticipation of shaving to raise money for pediatric cancer research. The Alstons were among the people I asked to contribute my campaign. I looked at my fundraising page after the shaving event and found a $5 donation from the Alstons with a note explaining that the treatments E was going through had been very costly and money was tight, but that their youngest daughter "J" had received $5 from her Nana as a gift and she decided she wanted to support what I was doing with that money instead of spending it on some thing for herself. What she really wanted was to help find a cures for cancer. So she asked E and Hyou to send me her $5. I was in tears as I read, knowing that despite the trials this family I had grown to love were going through, even the youngest among them was a generous and selfless soul. J was 7 years old when she made that decision. I had people donate 20 times that amount to my campaign, and it meant a lot to me, but Jillian’s donation was the one I will never forget. It embodied the essence of the Alstons. How could I not love them?
In October of 2010 E, Hyou and the Family were back for the Nationals again with Cara. Cara was a stronger kayaker, having nailed her roll. Megan was playing in the nationals in her age bracket, Hyou was playing, but E, who had qualified for the national women’s national team earlier that year had begun to struggle with chest pain and breathing. It was the IBC. She was unable to compete, and while she whole-heartedly cheered her friends and family, it couldn’t have been easy at times. Just as it was in camp when she broke her tooth and fought fatigue, E handled this new reality with grace, courage and strength. She sat at our dining room table talking with us, aware of her circumstances, yet strong enough in her self to enjoy just being with us.
The journey from October 2010 until she left in early September 2011 was inspiring, yet increasingly difficult for me to watch. I saw it though Facebook and blogs. E never stopped serving her community by providing nutritional knowledge and mentoring other cancer survivors. She had so much love for those around her, so many reasons to want to stay around, so much passion for her fight. She was an excellent resource for many people in the breast cancer community and for all of us who met her through First Descents. Ever since I met E and Hyou and their first visit to the West Coast, I struggled balancing my admiration and love for her, for all of the Alstons really, and that angry child part of me that never accepted that the cancer she was fighting might be just too relentless to overcome. Somehow E would stay with us because that was just what should be. I thought about the Alston family every day, literally. It was a struggle for me knowing how difficult things were for them, but I never stopped focusing on their best possible outcomes. E’s vast reserve of love, resolve and resilience elevated her to the unequivocal status of my heroine. We always want our heroes and heroines to be what they mean to us, who we imagine they are.
The last time I spoke with E she shocked me by telling me I was her hero. I was stunned hearing this from someone I held in such high regard. I suppose our stories have their similarities. We both were dealt some pretty difficult cards. We were both motivated people who sought out knowledge and wellness. We both were passionate about nutrition and serving our fellow humans. We were both empowered. Mostly, I think, our common bond was our unwillingness to let circumstance master our minds and our actions. We pursued our ways to fight for our families and leave legacies by positively impacting our respective circles of humanity.
I could wallow in sadness and mourning for E, and for so many other cherished friends and family I can no longer call on the phone, but that’s not what she or they would want. She would want me to celebrate her life by doing. It was my doing that she probably found heroic anyway - so I will. I will continue to try and emulate what I imagine a person I held in such high regard thought was my essence. For now I take heart in knowing that she taught her family what love is, what strength is and what passion is.
Peace, Light and Blessings to all who celebrate the good fortune of having know Eleanor “Easy E” Alston. We celebrate, we mourn, we love. We were damn lucky to get to know her.
Richard (NoMo Chemo Man) Harvey
